It's Kind of a Funny Story
by LittleMissBones
Summary: What happens when you put together two nerds, one bed, and a bag of chocolate? This. Written for the 2010 LostSquee Luau, with the prompt 'Tropes'. Daniel/Charlotte crack!fic. One-shot.


**A/N**: This was also written for the LostSquee Luau over at LJ. Today's prompt was 'Tropes'. This is also about the crackiest thing I've ever written. Enjoy!

It had happened quite suddenly, before either one of them had realized it, and now, as they took in their surroundings, they were both stuck, metaphorically and physically.

It wasn't like they _intended _for this to happen, oh no, but the simple fact that it had been allowed to happen under their noses and that now they couldn't change it was simply irritating within itself.

Of course, Daniel thought as he pondered his situation, it was pretty warm and actually really comfortable.

The person lying next to him, on the other hand, was thinking the exact opposite. Except for the warmth part, that she appreciated very much.

"I honestly wish they had warned us before Roberts decided to blow his fucking head of and Gault and Naomi forced us to bunk with Miles," Charlotte grumbled as she wriggled around in a sorry attempt to make more room for herself on the mattress. "Or that they had the idea to bring in an extra cot for one of us so that we wouldn't have to share."

(Here's the story: when Miles' bunkmate had inexplicably, though it had something to do with their proximity to the island, committed suicide, the man had absolutely refused to go back there, claiming he could still 'hear' Roberts. Gault and Naomi, sensing that there could be a bonding experience for their still-unacquainted, with the exceptions of Daniel and Charlotte, science team, decided that it would be best if Miles was put into the same cabin as Daniel and Charlotte. And since everyone but the geeks had agreed to it, there was nothing else to do but shut up and begrudgingly allow Miles to move his stuff in.

This, of course, created the unique problem of three grown people having to share two bunks. And since Miles had plopped down and decided to fall asleep on Dan's bunk while the two roommates were outside watching the stars and performing an experiment, they were forced to share Charlotte's bed for however long they had to.

Daniel would never say this to her face, but he enjoyed this arrangement very much. More than he probably should be enjoying it, given his fucked-up history with women.)

"I mean, _seriously_," his bed-mate stated as she turned onto her back, pulling him from his thoughts, "Gault and Keamy probably have more than enough room to spare in their cabins, and I'm sure Miles wouldn't have minded if he had to share with Naomi and Regina. Why does everyone think that just because we're the geeks automatically means we'll get along? For one thing, I…"

"Now, now, Charlotte," Daniel soothed, placing a hand on her shoulder and brushing back a few curls, "We can't exactly say this…is…all bad."

She turned her face to his and glared which both excited and scared the shit out of him.

Normally, this would be the time to back off and wait until she cooled down, but since his back was, quite literally, up against the wall, he could do absolutely nothing as she twisted her whole body to him while continuing to glare.

And that's exactly when he realized that her glare _really _turned him on.

"The evidence you have that this isn't all bad is what, Professor Faraday?"

He thought. And thought even harder. But it was really hard to think when she was laying there, right next to him, with her pale, freckled body covered in nothing but a flimsy tank top and short shorts. At that moment, he praised the fact that she had thought of bringing up and extra blanket for him, because if she hadn't, she would have murdered him on the spot if she had seen what was she was doing to him.

And then his brain happened upon and idea.

"You. Me. Up here," he grinned as Charlotte's facial expression turned from gaze-of-death to curiosity, "Almost like at camp again…"

Her eyebrows quirked up and her mouth curled into a smirk. "Are you saying that nerds get laid at physics camp?"

His thoughts immediately turned from a sorry attempt at trying to convince her into a slumber party to what she would look like naked and on top of him. If physics wasn't going to kill him, she would.

And Daniel Russell Faraday would enjoy that death very much. Just saying.

"No, no, no," he muttered, flustered, wiping the thought from his brain, yet tucking it in the back of his mind for later, "I…I mean, like…um…well…"

"Cat got your tongue?"

_You don't even know the half of it_, he thought as he attempted to figure out what to say and whether or not it would result in him getting shoved out of her bunk and onto the floor.

(At times like these, he wished he wasn't a geek and that he could miraculously grow brave and kiss her like he wanted to right now.)

That moment he figured out exactly where he was headed.

"You still have some chocolate left, right?"

Charlotte grinned and scrambled off the mattress. "Be right back," she said as she climbed down to her luggage and opened it up, turning her back to him as she dug through it for the aforementioned chocolate.

And yes, gentlemen, the view from up where Daniel was was very pleasant.

Turning around, she triumphantly waved the still full bag of chocolates and tossed it up to him as she shut her luggage and scrambled back up onto the bunk, catching one that he tossed to her.

(The rest of their night was filled with sugar highs, coloring on Miles' face with Charlotte's small make-up bag, and then suddenly, when they had polished off the Ukrainian chocolates filled with vodka and the Mexican ones filled with tequila, one moment that probably shouldn't have happened, but was quite enjoyable nonetheless as the noises coming from their cabin turned from outbursts of giggling to moans and groans.

It turned out that Charlotte was right. Nerds do, in fact, get laid at physics camp.)

Miles groaned as he awoke, pale sunlight streaming through the windows. He had actually had a pretty heavy sleep, which rested him and gave him lots of energy. In fact, now that he thought about it, he liked this bed more than his old one. As he reminded himself to go thank Naomi for coming up with this idea, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

And let out a small, terrified shriek.

Someone during the night had snuck in and drawn all over his face, which was made up with red lipstick, bright blue eye shadow, and really pink blush, making him look like one of those clowns he was absolutely terrified of. That someone had also sloppily scrawled 'PENIS' onto his forehead with black eyeliner. Judging from the candy wrappers strewn all over the floor and on his bed, that person had to have been pretty fucked up to do this. Maybe it was one of Keamy's idiots.

(If none of the girls had any make-up remover, and he doubted that they did, this was going to be a bitch to get off.)

Then Miles noticed the situation in the bed right above his.

The nerds were covered in the same candy wrappers.

Correction: they were covered in _only_ candy wrappers.

As everybody, including the aforementioned nerds above him, woke up to his screaming, he sprinted to Gault's cabin, clown face and all, and begged for his old cabin back. The sight that he had seen had been way too much for his tiny heart to bear.

To this day, anyone that had been on the freighter will tell you that it had to be a pretty awful sight for Miles to take in to ask for the 'haunted' cabin back, because when the rest of them had found out about Daniel and Charlotte's chocolate and alcohol induced one-night-stand/torturing of Miles, they shrugged it of and privately congratulated the physicist and anthropologist later.

Seriously. It was about damn time too.

_Fin._


End file.
